P and I have lived in the same place in beautiful Greenwich for four years now. We’ve been relatively lucky with new housemates – except for that time the 56 year old man moved in. Oh, and that time that the Australian guy moved in who apparently lost the skill of speaking after week one and proceeded to just grunt at us all, and piss all over the bathroom. ALL OVER.

He was 26ish, and still hadn’t managed the art of not peeing on the toilet seat or FLOOR. So apart from those two nut jobs we have been fairly lucky. The problem is that our property managers meet and greet all potential new housemates – not us. We don’t get the final say. Of course we tell them when we’re not impressed or point them in the direction of what we’re looking for. But they never seem to take this on board (hello, 50+ man in a house of 20-somethings), they just want the money. I can’t blame them completely because that age old saying is true; you never really know someone until you’re living with them. From day dot when I moved in, I was in charge – even though I was brand new. Someone needed to bring them up to speed with what was acceptable and what was not. No leaving dirty dishes overnight, thankyouverymuch.

Whole 30/paleo happy meatballs

Our newest house member, New Guy, moved in on the weekend just been, so Monday was day one post work catch up in the kitchen. We were all in attendance; P, myself, Mr Work-From-Home (WFH), Ms Uptight-Vegan from the top floor, and the New Guy. He has to fill EVERY SILENCE. Ugh. After work I want silence. I mean I know he’s new and he wants to get to know everyone and is making an effort. But there’s a point when it becomes too much. I don’t want to hear about how you can’t find your broccoli or that you need a saucepan. Running commentary is an absolute pet peeve of mine. It was constant. I couldn’t even leave because I was mid-way through rolling my balls. My meatballs. Both Mr WFH and Ms Uptight Vegan were giving New Guy short answers, trying to cease the CONSTANT conversation for just 2-3 minutes to enjoy a breather. But New Guy wasn’t having any of it. It was like quick fire question time. But only questions that brought the conversation right back around to him. I quickly turned into bitch-Bron mode and had my blinkers on, ignoring all. P is an angel, and it’s one of the reasons I love him – while I could tell he was not enjoying himself he is always kind and polite. If someone asks him something or is openly talking, he won’t ignore them (like I will!), he will never leave them hanging in awkward silence (like I love to do!), he will respond.

Fast forward to last night, Tuesday, and again New Guy wanted to establish conversation. But this time it was just P and I cornered in the kitchen. New Guy even questioned “where’s Mr WFH?”. I responded shortly “upstairs in his room.” They were in hiding, both Ms Uptight and Mr WFH were in their respective rooms hiding from New Guy’s constant chatter. This was a first as we have lived with them both for about 3 months now (so they are relatively new too) and Mr WFH is often in the lounge on his laptop working when we get in. When I say often I mean every day. So for him to be suddenly missing and in hiding means he had the same thought as P and I – the New Guy is TOO MUCH. Of course, P and I got the brunt of it, but then I think New Guy felt awkward like he was encroaching on a couples night in. I wasn’t going to stop his awkward feeling, he was talking all through First Dates and I was getting more and more annoyed. So after no responses to his incessant noise, he excused himself to his room. Success.

Needless to say I am counting down the months and weeks to when we get our own place and no longer have to share with housemates.

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