Number one fear? Fitting in a dress. I love the bride to be so much. Both her and her betrothed mean the world to me and I’m so excited and honoured to be up front and centre on their special day.

But I’ll admit the picking of a dress terrifies me.

She’s getting married in a beautiful green open space in New Zealand so has gone for neutral tones. Stunning. Except that on me, I fear that anything too clingy in a light colour will make me look like a large intestine. Lumpy and bumpy.

So I have now found the dress I am going to wear for the big day. My goal was to get one that fits now (but is slightly tight) in order to give myself the boost I need to get in the gym and tone up in a crash couple of months of wedding shredding. This is yet to commence. Because it’s freezing in London and I’d rather eat Christmas mince pies while sitting on the sofa than go to the gym.

She’s not asked me to slim down, she never would. But I feel it’s my duty not to ruin her wedding photos as the frumpy maid trying to hide behind the other bridesmaids. I’m just really struggling to get motivated. Although let me tell you – looking at the dress options available the motivation kicks in momentarily – until I remember it’s 4* outside and I want to eat crispy, roast potatoes smothered in gravy.

So last week I ordered a tonne of dresses and with Phil’s help narrowed it down to two. Now I have managed to pick the one (below). Please excuse the black bra and knickers. It will be a day of nude underwear, most likely control shape-wear.



It’s a work in progress. One that requires a lot of toning of the arms, chest and tummy. But I feel ready now – because I know what I need to work towards. January and February are going to include a lot of litres of water, gym sessions, zero carbs and a lot of clear-broth, vegetable soup. Anything else can be covered up with a few healthy dollops of fake tan.

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