Thankfully work is starting to ease up. Not the volume of stuff that needs to be done. But the difficulty level is easing. This old gal finally has her brain in check and shit is sinking in.
It’s been tough. I won’t lie. Everyone who knows me, knows the huge bants thrown around about my mathematical skills. Numbers ain’t my forte. Yet, yes, I have an accounting degree and have now submerged myself in a fully finance role. WTF was I thinking? In all honesty I was thinking of the salary and the life I planned to live on the beaches in Sydney. Not the everyday slog of trying not to look like a dumb blonde.
But, practice makes perfect and I’ve managed to shock myself at how much I have actually taken on. You can learn new things in your 30s. Technical things. Not just how to knit or paint flower pots. I know I’m exaggerating 30s at being old, but when you’ve done roles that used very little brain power, just needed a smiling face and a loud and unwavering personality, then you stop using said brain and start working on autopilot. This has been my challenge the last two months. Kicking autopilot to the curb and learning shit. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I’m exhausted when I get home and always insist to Phil that I need wine (which is not helping in any diet plans I had). But goddamn it, I learnt how to defer and amortise the fee of a multi-million dollar syndicated deal today. I NEED A FUCKING WINE. It’s my wind down, a chance to relax, before I have to get up the next day and go into work and do it all again, without crying into my morning coffee because that would just be awkward for everyone.
I’m very lucky that my team are super supportive, one team member in particular has saved my ass more than once and I love her for it. I think she sees the vacant look on my face as our manager asks us to reconcile something and instantly jumps to my aid. I’d absolutely have floundered without her.
I know I previously posted that finance and investment banking were not going to be my forever career, and that’s still the case. But I think I just wanted to mark this moment; to prove to myself I still do have a working and very capable brain. This week I’ve felt a sense of achievement by extending myself in a way I’ve not done for nearly six years and it felt fucking fantastic.