Last week I bought a maternity top and I’m not pregnant. I repeat, I am not pregnant. This is not an announcement. I’m just fat.

I’m working on the fat thing, but it’s hard. I mean, chips! Cheese! Wine! And I’m lazy… Trust me I know that losing weight would be the best option, but meh. It’s hard. I feel like I’ve been on a diet my whole life. How do people not gain weight? Unless I am seriously paying attention to what I’m eating I seem to gain weight while I breathe.

While I joke above about eating cheese, chips and wine – my daily food intake is usually; two boiled eggs for breakfast with rocket salad, a lean chicken salad for lunch (no dressing, just a bit of chilli) and fish and salad for dinner. I’m not sitting here scoffing down packets of biscuits or melted cheese on toast – yet I still get fatter!

Pfft! This chick doesn’t even look preggers in her high heels and skinny jeans.

I carry all my weight around my middle. My tummy. So OBVIOUSLY maternity tops are more forgiving around the middle region. I bought this striped top in a smaller size than I would normally wear – and magic – the thing fits right! It’s not clinging to me like so many tops out now. Thankfully it doesn’t say ‘maternity’ anywhere on the label or I’d die if anyone saw it. Even though I’m blatantly sharing my fat story on the internet.

Shopping is bloody hard work when you don’t love your body. I need to get back into the gym – I had to quit my gym because we moved to Balham. While there is a gym ON MY ROAD it costs three times the price of what I was paying! But I spoke to Phil about it and surely my health and happiness far supersedes the money I was going to use on important things like handbags and jewellery (they ALWAYS fit, no matter how fat you are)? We decided, yes.

This weekend we’re off to check out my new gym and sign me up – so that I don’t have myself signed up to a lifetime of buying maternity wear when I’M NOT PREGNANT.

I know I can’t be the only one who’s been through this, come on, own up…

3 thoughts on “Fat shopping”

  1. Fark lady! I went through 20+ years of this … paleo, dukan, Weight Watchers and the works and well, you know what I had to do in the end. Its fucking tough, even more so as we get older and even though you are just a wee bunny, it will still get harder every year.
    Join the gym, go see a nutritionist and keep a journal – more so for what you are thinking about when you think you need to eat (if you’re having a few issues with snacks) and yea, sing out if I can help at all

    1. Thanks for this chica – and you’re right. I just need to get on top of it, or I’ll have another 20 years of the same.

      I like your journal idea – I’m sick of the yoyo. Gym + journal will be my plan of attack.

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