I strive under pressure.
I remember being in university and people saying this to me. I thought to myself, sure, that sounds convincing and like a really great line – but what does it even mean?! Fast forward a decade and I get it. When I have too much on my plate that I can’t see the hill for the trees, I strive. I strive so awesome it’s like a magnificent flamingo taking off from the waterside.
When I am not under pressure and don’t have a huge workload, I flounder. I lose motivation, determination, robustness and even the enjoyment I get from my career. Basically, I’m fucking bored. It’s very disheartening being bored in your job – I keep telling friends and family that when the day comes that we move back to New Zealand – I literally want a people facing job, even if it’s working on a checkout at a supermarket or making coffee. As long as it’s busy!
Being female and sitting idle is tough. You think. You overthink. I harass Phil about when he’s going to propose (like any normal female in a long-term relationship) and thankfully he takes it on the chin and doesn’t run a mile. He knows I’m bored too.
Trust me, I ask EVERYONE what I can help with – is there anything they need doing. I’m so bloody close to offering to help on audit work. In fact I would, but I know my boss would be miffed by it – proving that this role is not required, he could do it all himself. But why would he, when it looks better for him that he has someone under him? Bureaucratic bullshit.
I nearly cried last week at work, just because of how bored I was. I’ve never thought the term ‘bored to tears’ was real. But it fucking is legit. I was there. I’m trying to think of side projects I can get on with at work – blogging, writing a novel, booking travel for 2018, reading books and listening to podcasts. Some stuff though is tough to do with your boss right next to you. Sure, he has no work for me to do, but no chance he’ll let me spend my time doing something productive. So instead I open and close spreadsheets and type blog posts in emails to make them look like work tasks. I’m over it. This flamingo needs to fly.